How Waffle House Saved Christmas

Snowy River Merlot 2008
Egads! No butter on Christmas morning! I had once before in my life peered into the fridge on Christmas morning and realized there was no butter. That means, no butter for the pancakes, the special egg quiche and none for the 17 lb. turkey awaiting its beer butt journey.

The last time left a scar of sorts. It was in 1988. While visiting my brother for the holidays I set out in thick fog to find butter on Christmas morning, only to find their family cat, Whiskers, flattened on Macon Road. Rather than spoil Christmas as “the day Whiskers died” I set out to find a shovel in addition to butter. I buried the cat and was going to wait a day to tell them. Unfortunately my brother asked why I was sweating, stating that buying butter isn’t that strenuous. I told him so he assembled the kids and told them Whiskers was dead. Their response was “Okay, can we go out and play?”

This time I made sure all the animals were in the house before I set out in the heavy downpour Augusta woke up to.
The only places open were convenience stores and none had butter. I thought, “who has butter and lots of it?” Waffle House came to mind. Naturally it started to really pour as I pulled into the West of I-20 Waffle House on Washington Road. (For those from outside the South, there is a Waffle House on both sides of any Interstate exit near big cities. The exception is the River Watch exit in Georgia on I-20 and that’s because there’s no room to develop on the South side. But that’s okay since there are two more barely a mile away on the Washington Road Exit).

It was my luck that one of the district managers happened to be helping out on Christmas morning. Acting cooly he never made eye contact with me, passing on the butter to one of the servers. My money was refused. “Merry Christmas” I was told. So, I will be eating many breakfasts at this Waffle House for many years to come. If you ever stop there add a quarter to the tip for me and say “thanks for the butter.” It sure saved our Christmas Day feast.

The brining of the turkey was done the day before by my father-in-law while I took Mrs. Dan and Mr. Ben to Griffin, where my brother had his annual Christmas Eve Smoke Shed gathering. I had printed out my recipe for Beer Butt Turkey that I had posted on this site.

As Mrs. Dan’s brother reminded us on our return “he’s more used to giving out instructions rather than following them.” (He’s a retired school teacher). We were wondering if the bird was seasoned with weeds since he had no clue as to what the Rosemary in the garden looked like (he guessed correctly).

We planned for a 2 PM Christmas dinner but it was more like 5:00 because the Christmas presents took forever. Mr. Ben got “present overload” and went over and started playing with presents from last year refusing to open any more. We had to talk him to coming back and opening the pile grandma, grandpa and his mother had spoiled him with.

For this bird we used Black Opal Chardonnay 2008 in the Foster’s Oil Can. We sampled what was left. A nice Chardonnay. The right balance of sweetness and acid.

I got worried when I got the bird to the grill. The last one I did on this grill was 13 lbs and it fit nicely. The 17 pounder didn’t fit so nicely. I had to use 3 large paving bricks to get the lid shut and hold it down. It was leaning a bit.

After 3-1/2 hours the bird was done and we settle down to eat. The forced lean force part of the lid so stay in contact with the meat where the heat congregates at the top. It was a bit dry but the rest of the bird was perfect.

Mrs. Dan’s brother gave her a 6-bottle wine collection for Christmas that included Snowy River Merlot. Everyone wanted red. We looked the bottles and selected the red with the most interesting label. (It has a photo-mosaic of cowboys crossing a river that looks like someone ran through Photoshop).

I like this wine. It wasn’t heavy in texture but sure had a strong fruit taste yet had nice delicate dryness. The label says it has blueberry and cherry flavors. I go with that. I’m not sure where he got it so I doubt I’ll ever see this wine again. We owe much of our good eating to the Australians since they produced both the Merlot and the Chardonnay.

As we said the blessing I followed it up with a silent prayer as I buttered my roll. “Thank you Waffle House.”

From: South Eastern Australia
Winery: Westend Estate
Year: 2008
Stopper: Screw Cap